There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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