your thong is hanging out like whoa
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
