dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
A bitchslap is in order.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
