She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
