do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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