I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
