Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
