help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
