i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
