Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
