You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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