her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
