No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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