their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
