I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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