Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
