big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
