That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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