i'm lost and i look like a hooker
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
