Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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