hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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