maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
