I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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