she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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