Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
