I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
