Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
