also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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