Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
