You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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