You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
