I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
