Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
