i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
