Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
