I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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