hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
