Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Pants are for mortals
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
