make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
