yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
