You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
