In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
My vagina is very pro this idea
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
