Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Randomize
