i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
