I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
