He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Randomize
