I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
