I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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