we have pet lesbian snakes
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
