this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
