after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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